To make un-fine wine, simply place grapes beneath a silk pillow, repeatedly mash your head against it, and then wring the pillowcase into a nearby mouth. Taste traditionally produced fine wines with todays Groupon: for $17, you get a Valentine's Day weekend wine tasting for two at Gougér Cellars Winery in Vancouver (a $34 total value), which includes: Admission to one day of the event, which includes wine tasting, live music, and chocolates (a $10 value each). Dat...

Living healthily, like keeping a designer jacket clean, requires poise, discipline, and a lack of grease. Move toward a healthier existence with today's Groupon to Spork Online. Choose between the following options: For $20, you get a 6-month membership (a $39.95 value). For $35, you get a 12-month membership (a $74.95 value). Each membership includes the following: One new vegan cooking-class video each month with four downloadable recipes Immediate access t...

Like choosing paint swatches with an impatient spouse, teeth whitening replaces pale pistachio, bavarian cream, and summer peach with simple buckets of white. Simplify your shades with todays Groupon: for $29, you get a home teeth-whitening kit from Premium Home Whitening (a $158 value). Premium Home Whitening's kits take trips to the dentist out of smile-brightening equations with FDA-approved gels blanching choppers up to five shades. After a quick brush and flos...

Experience temporary nirvana with one of today's deals for Nirvana Holistic Spa's mobile massage services: $19 buys a $50 gift card to Nirvana Holistic Spa, a $50 value; $85 gets you a one-hour Thai Yoga Massage, 20-minute reflexology, and a $25 gift card, a $190 value; and $129 buys you and someone special a one-hour couples Citrus Hot Stone Massage and a $25 gift card, a $295 value. Performed in the comfort of your own home, Nirvana Holistic Spa's mobile massage...

While holding a mountain pose yields comfort and serenity, holding a mountain goat yields a lifelong friendship. Embrace tranquility with todays Groupon: to Breathing Room Yoga & Movement Studio in South Portland. For $23, you get a 5-class pass (a $55 value). For $45, you get a 10-class pass (a $100 value). Breathing Room's band of registered yoga teachers fosters a community of yogis dedicated to wellness and individual growth. The accommodating schedule ...

Wearing a personalized graphic tee is a form of self-expression, much like choosing a special type of postage stamp or picketing the local post office because of its lack of birdhouse-themed postage stamps. Show your softer side with today's Groupon: for $20, you get $40 worth of custom-printed T-shirts and gifts at Big Frog Custom T-Shirts & More of Beaverton. Big Frog Custom T-Shirts & More of Beaverton's garment artists emblazon wearable canvases with we...

Although their thick wool coats would make them ideal car washers, sheep are rarely able to hold the position because of costly hoof scratches and a tendency to eat air fresheners. Enjoy bipedal auto-polishing with today's Groupon to Get M.A.D. Mobile Auto Detailing. Choose between the following options: For $89, you get a full detail for a car (a $179 value, including the company's $20 gas fee). For $99, you get a full detail for a van, truck, or SUV (up to a $20...

Muscles, like the tails of sleeping cats or levers labeled drain ocean, were never meant to be pulled. Reverse the damage with today's Groupon to The Ultimate Tan & Med Spa. Choose from the following locations: Cornelius, Hillsboro, Newberg, Sherwood, Tigard, or Wilsonville. Choose between the following options: For $39, you get a 60-minute therapeutic massage (a $79.95 value). For $49, you get a 90-minute therapeutic massage (a $99.95 value). The Ultimate T...

Humans have been putting spherical objects in hoops for centuries, but until the invention of the dunk, the fast break, and face dribbling, it wasn't an activity worth watching. See if "basketball" lives up to the hype with today's GrouponLive deal to see the Maine Red Claws play at the Portland Expo. Choose between the following ticketing options: For $14, you get a game outing with one ticket for side-center seating (a $29 total value). For $22, you get a game o...

If your eyes are the windows to your soul, your hair is the tunnel to your mind. Keep your mind-matter from escaping with today's hair-taming Groupon: for $20, you get $40 worth of hair services at Regis Salons. Armed with current techniques for properly maintaining noggin lawns, Regis Salons' network keeps clients hair in order as dictated by the latest trends. Manage mane health with a deep-conditioning treatment, haircut, and blow-dry (starting at $40; prices va...